From gas to Gushers, sampling a smorgasbord of RiverRun Gardens flower
One of our primary functions at Talking Joints Memo is to provide product reviews. It’s a service that readers regularly tell us they want, and which few other local outlets offer.
We also provide services to cultivators that need help producing product descriptions. It’s basically what we do anyway, and the fees keep our freelance writers fed. (Those write-ups do not appear as editorial, but we’re making an exception here since there was no money exchanged.)
All things considered, when we heard that RiverRun Gardens in Newburyport needed assistance describing their storied flower, we jumped at the chance to volunteer. The small cultivator (licensed as a microbusiness) grows the kind of bud that other growers go out of their way to puff.
Our Citizen Strain trio (of which TJM Editor Chris Faraone is pictured above) loved every one of the 20-plus packs we sampled, with the 10 below being among our favorites.
This Raspberry Beret x Sour Apple cross is perfectly pungent and bursting with brilliant berry bliss. An orchard full of apricots and plums with sugar sprinkled on the trees, its funk will stick to your hair, throat, and fingers, with residual aromas that may last even longer than the reliable mind and body high.
Road Rage OG
It’s a sweet and savory smorgasbord with this Swamp Thing x Hot Rod hootenanny. There’s feta cheese and lemon peels in the mix, plus bundles of bananas, walnuts, lemons, and even a touch of oregano with splashes of cola. Prepare for a gassy gumbo that will get your brain and bones going without overwhelming the senses.
Yes, this Apple Fritter x Strawberries and Cream number actually smells, tastes, and smacks like a bushel of fragaria. A pre-taste fit for fried fruit pie lovers and adult animal cracker eaters, its dense yet bouncy super sticky buds are sweet and tart, begetting bursts of cinnamon and berries as it burns. Potent and aimed toward the brain, RiverRun’s straw-fritter is good for an immediate mind shift.
With a gassy lemon stink that’s mild but nevertheless sticks to your sinuses, smoking this Cheetah Piss x Bakers Dozen cut is like slurping on a citrus marinade. This is an earthy meal, with touches of rosemary, mushroom, and artichoke. An indica-heavy hybrid, it is likely to lower your eyelids but only after ogling the killer kaleidoscopic buds.
Your whole head, mouth, and shoulders are going to feel this strain as a flight of flavors from the Zkittlez x Runtz cross cascades through your body. You can expect a thoroughly sweet floral aftertaste with chamomile, butterscotch, and a dash of hazelnut (plus some rubber to chew on). Most of all, though, just expect to be completely blitzed. This one’s not for amateurs.
This one is dense, perfectly dry for rolling, and pleasantly sticky. The intro starts with a classic astringent herbal drift—more in vibe than in taste—then progresses to a mid-smoke soaked in dry red wine and whiskey. The Biscotti x Scotty 2 Hotty cross brings tannins and alfalfa which rumble under a mellow floral bouquet. Behind the creeping cloud of gas is classic smoky bourbon, all mixed with hints of sweet dried grass, jasmine, and mango to complement an intense buzz.
Banana Koffee Belts
The whole of this indica dominant strain is even more outstanding than the sum of its parts, which happen to be Banana Cream Biscotti Sherb x Kaya’s Koffee Raspberry AK-47 x Rainbow Belts 2.0. With a scent akin to that “it’s gonna snow” smell, it’s a truly unique weirdo, packing enough mint effervescence to numb the roof of your mouth as the gas settles in for a relaxing yet nevertheless intense body high.
Sweet to the tip of your tongue with notable follow through on the aftertaste, this Granddaddy Pluto x Red Pop potpourri presents as an acidic dreamboat floating on pineapple, nectarine, and grapefruit, but also matures into a buttery bowl of artisanal popcorn upon further decarboxylation. From the fully cured bud’s smell of strawberry yogurt to the significant potency, this is an anomaly worth burning at various temps to discover what this Limonene-Linalool stew can do for you.
With dense buds marked by streaks that are more intensely purple than Barney with blisters, Jelly Pancakes is a mix of Slim Jim x Gushers that pays proper homage to its parents, especially the latter. With maple gasoline in its veins and fennel, spearmint, and rosemary turning up, it’s an extremely terp-heavy experience in taste and heady-heavy in vibe. Also keep your nose tuned for splashes of ginger, spearmint, pancakes, and ice cream.
Do not underestimate the potency nor perfection of this strain fit for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Fit to get you stoned without completely spoiling your day, it nonchalantly moves from notes of lemon cheesecake into bursts of berry and black currant aperitifs with chocolate milkshakes on the side. Overall this is a smooth refreshing sail with mellow wings to help you soar without crashing down to the ground.