Get your clean sensible tube and torch ready, and you might also want to open up a window
I’ve been thinking quite a bit about bong hits. Mostly while taking them, but also while judging the first-ever Bay State Bong-Off last month.
During that display of bravery by cannabis connoisseurs from every corridor and corner of the commonwealth, I noted tactics and maneuvers that gave some competitors an edge.
Whether you’re competing in an upcoming Bong-Off (date TBA) or just interested in upping your flame game, here are some tips and tricks.**
Small tubes make for bigger clouds
This one isn’t so intuitive, unless you actually understand physics. As it turns out, bigger tubes are little more than vanity vessels for you to blow lots of air into. I am happy to be proven wrong on this, but it’s almost like the longer the bong is, the smaller its resulting clouds. When there’s nowhere else for smoke to go, it just shoots right into your lungs, and still has that brand new milky whiteness when it touches the air.
Use a torch
It seems quite obvious in retrospect after the Bong-Off, but a good old Bic won’t cut it if you’re trying to ignite every last shred of leaf. Plus as anyone who has ever inverted a disposable flame over some shredded lettuce knows, your plastic cheapie leaves the outer ring unburned, blackening the middle only. With a torch, you can light up every speck.
Your weed selection matters
I don’t think that this is a strain-specific thing. Rather, you’ll simply want to pay attention to the green you’re stuffing in your pipe—the finish, the dryness, its flammability. In the first round of the Bong-Off, we watched every participant measure out a half-gram, and it was clear that some hadn’t considered the burn; dank, sticky, and fluffy might be awesome for a long session with friends, but it isn’t the right software to signal robust cloud storage.
Practice makes puff-ect
Have you ever noticed how, maybe on your last vacation or something, how your capacity for cannabis grows along with your weekly weed budget, buzz, and tolerance? That’s because the more you smoke, the less you choke. Unless you overdo it, but in the meantime …
The cleaner the bong, the easier it is to pull
This is another duh one, maybe they all are, but the clearer your bong water is, the more you will be able to tolerate the smoke that blows through it. Even a single pull can muddy up a crystal puddle, so if you really want to touch the clouds, take the extra time to scrub and buff before you puff.
Coughers need not apply
None of the participants in last month’s Bong-Off coughed. Or even came close to coughing. Which was pretty remarkable, and something to consider if you ever find yourself among the heavy hitters. Because when it comes to pulling tubes, if you aren’t built for it, you shouldn’t try.
*Alternative subtitles we considered included A Bongitudinal Study, A Longitudinal Study, and A Burnitudinal Study.
**Though cannabis use is largely safe, we encourage you to smoke within your known limits, especially if you follow our tip on the torch.
