Mouth-watering potions with the added bonus of getting you stoned
First of all, I mean no disrespect to Commonwealth brands or dispensaries by any of this. The truth is that we love lots of the drinks available on the Mass market—from Levia, to CQ, to Endless Coast.
Need proof? Just look in our office mini fridge.
I’m also not even really that mad at our state’s Cannabis Control Commission, which made it so the maximum amount of THC that one beverage can hold is 5mg. As I’ve been told by several friends who are not total degenerates like yours truly and who are very much loving the 2.5 and 5mg products we have available here, that’s quite enough for most people. Understood.
As for me though, I like to get whacked. Stupid. Too stoned to drive. Even a bike. Basically inebriated to the point where I can only play video games and write these reviews. Not always, but at least on weekends. And if I plan on doing that with drinks, it helps to shop in Maine, where there are several outstanding 10mg numbers available (and I also have a friend who lets me crash at their house provided I share any weedstuffs I pick up on my way to their place). I bought three such drinks on my most recent trip to the lobster state and enjoyed them enough that I thought they were worth telling you about in case you find yourself traveling north …
First up is my absolute fave of the bunch—Sparkling Blueberry Lemonade by Pine + Star THC Drinks. In case you weren’t already aware, blueberries and lemons complement each other wonderfully. You may not find those actual items next to each other in real life too often, but they work extremely well in some foodstuffs—and gumstuffs—including this one. It’s super sweet without being too sweet, if that’s possible, and I’m flowing with the low-to-medium carbonation level too. But mostly, more than anything else, I’m here for the candy flavor. This stuff is delicious.
Next up is the legacy icon, Keef, which has been bubbling in other markets for more than a decade. Tried and tested by millions before me, it’s as mouth watering as any great Jewish deli root beer I’ve ever drank, only of course it has the added bonus feature of getting you high. Plus some other benefits …
I’m not sure if it’s because I was totally blitzed after gassing three bottles of Keef, or if it was simply due to the sheer nature of ingesting 36 ounces of anything carbonated, but holy geyser did this soda have me belching. We’re talking competition burps here folks, and tasty ones. Which is a positive, since I’m from one of those cultures where such sounds are signs of endearment.
Finally, I’m not really sure what to make of Shipyard’s Pumpkinhead THC Elixir. Not that I don’t like it, I do. Nor is my issue that it doesn’t intrigue me—it does. It’s just that I am of the camp which holds that no brew other than those of the root or ginger beer varieties should ever be this sweet. And while I know that this is not a beer—it’s a carbonated cannabis-infused beverage that tastes more like a pumpkin tea than, say, a lager—the fact that it comes from the good folks at Shipyard keeps tripping my brain up.
It’s a totally unfair assessment, I know. To their credit though, I do tend to pick up a case of Shipyard’s actual Pumpkinhead ale once or twice every autumn; it’s one of the few of its kind I can not only stomach but actually enjoy, and it’s also a consistent crowd pleaser for parties. As for their non-beer THC drink, I’ll put it this way—if we were out, and you passed me something that looked like this amber elixir and told me it’s a fall-flavored treat with weed wired into the potion, I’d nominate you for a Nobel fucking prize.
So yeah, it’s tasty. And I’ll continue grabbing a few of these as well as the others every time I go to Maine for higher-dosed exotic goods from now on.
