10 Ways Everything They Said About Pot Smokers Is Actually True Of The Green Line

Both faithfully underground since the 1800s with recent expansions, the similarity is uncanny

We didn’t think to compare the Green Line to cannabis because of the color they have in common. The idea actually came from watching people on Twitter complain about what a lying tardy bastard the MBTA trolley is, and realizing that a lot of the things they were saying sounded like prohibitionist rants about potheads. We were stoned for a nearly hour-long crawl between Allston and Government Center, and during our delay identified 10 things the oldest subway line in the US has in common with stereotypical weed smokers.

10 — The Green Line says it’s on the way, but that motherfucker still ain’t left yet.

9 — It will go outside when it has to but mostly prefers the warmth and coziness of indoors.

8 — You can sneak a free ride every now and then but don’t push it or else someone will call you out for mooching.

7 — Bound to blindside a few first-year students when they’re least expecting it.

6 — Fantastic resource to have around when you’re going to a Red Sox game.

5 — It took a while to get service in Cambridge and Somerville, but like dispensaries the GLX has finally arrived.

4 — The perception is that it’s just used by college kids but really everyone from yuppies to professors and seniors are on the train.

3 — Schedules? What the hell are those?

2 — It’s not uncommon to begin a trip in Allston with the full intention of going downtown but then just stop somewhere around Copley for no good reason at all.

1 — Just when you thought you had plans, it turns out that you ain’t goin’ nowhere.

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