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These Impossible Blunts Are Smooth, Tobacco-Free, and Powerful

After giving up blunts for a decade, these natural sticks are pulling me back in


Don’t worry, I’m not going to do that thing where I reminisce about the 10,000 blunts I have rolled in my life. I only mention it because I know how diehard Dutch spinners feel about prerolls, plus to note that whether hardcore heads like it or not, people who twist their own are few and far between, and with the preroll category growing, you can expect to see more and more products as well as innovation on the blunt front. If I can get acquainted with new canna tech, then anybody can.

While we typically hold back on these columns until we have a few items from one category to evaluate together, this foray into blunted territory doesn’t appear to have any expiration date. So while we intend to keep on puffing a variety of cigar and cigar-like wraps to report back to you on, the two already in our stash are more than worth a writeup on their own.

First up is one you probably already heard about and maybe even swung between your teeth—Sweet Sluggers, the pre-rolled David Ortiz blunts from Papi Cannabis via Rev Farms. You’ll have to ignore the always looming joke of celebrity joints or at least suspend disbelief that jocks can cosign solid cannabis ideas (if you haven’t already shaken the latter prejudice on the strength of top-shelf buds via Highsman by NFL icon Ricky Williams). Once you free your mind, though, these sticks are sure to fill it with a beautiful buzz.

 

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Sweet Sluggers pack a full gram and come stuffed with either Lava Cake #7, Motorbreath #15, Bootylicious #4, or Black Mamba #7. We shared a pack of the latter with Dig staffers and heard the same across the board—tasty, easy on the lungs, and good for at least two serious sessions. All of which are qualities that cannabis consumers can expect to see more of in their blunts, as manufacturers roll out new tobacco-free formulas.

In this case, the wraps on Big Papi’s cigar spliffs are “produced with tea leaves and hemp.” Singles are “packaged in a dube tube made of 100% reclaimed ocean plastic,”” or there is a stylish three-pack, which comes with a collectible box of Papi Brand matches. We kind of wish that they looked more like little baseball bats, but if you get stoned enough I guess they kind of do. Home run. When it comes to food, I prefer real meat over so-called impossible burgers; but in the weed realm, impossible blunts that don’t have tobacco feel like a blessing.

Also at bat: the Berkshire Roots “twist on a traditional blunt.” We sampled one of their herbal wraps around .75 grams of Great White Shark, a heavy indica strain that got us properly cockeyed. Also tobacco-free, this blunt was as delicious as any cancerous log I have ever pulled on. And while it’s only joint-sized, it burns clean and slowly enough to tap out and re-spark multiple times.

BR’s open secret: the Futurola skin is made using mate, chamomile, and cacao. The result smells the way you want a cinnamon stick to smell before you actually sniff one and are disappointed. It reminds me of a crumb cake, and I found myself inhaling dry hits for a couple of minutes before lighting up. A part of me didn’t want to lose that sweet unsmoked aroma, but as usual the part of me that wanted to get high wielded more power.

Most importantly, even though this Great White Shark has major bite, I didn’t cough. What a relief. After spending half my life thinking that wheezing was a mandatory aspect of the routine, and then giving up blunts for a decade at the insistence of my doctor, I’m happy to put my favorite method of smoking back in rotation, starting with these finely crafted products that rekindled the flame.