Why We’re Sipping Endless Coast Infused Seltzer, Well, Endlessly

Not to be confused with Endless Coast the Cape Cod hotel, or with Crooked Coast the Cape Cod band, but with comparable niche-popping potential and refined party vibes as the latter

I’ll give this to the Endless Coast folks—they have something different on their hands.

I mean that in a good way. Because when you’re entering an increasingly crowded cannabis-infused seltzer market like we have in Mass, you ought to make a splash. Pun intended.

First, there is the flavor. Or the flavors, plural, since they’re all worth chattering about. Our budtender recommended the orange-mango-jalapeno variety, and I’ll admit, it didn’t sound like something that would have been my first choice. But she was convincing and knowledgeable and hey, let’s face it, the worst that could happen is we put it on ice and drink quickly, and so we grabbed one along with a few of their lemon-ginger numbers for five bucks apiece (way to go on that price point by the way) and hurried home to kick back with those and a backpack full of other goodies. (Endless Coast, a product of the massive multi-state operator Curaleaf, also offers a grapefruit-botanicals seltzer which, like the lemon-ginger, packs 2.5mg of CBD and that much THC, while the orange-mango-jalapeno and their lime ones have 5mg of THC).

To my surprise, the orange-mango-jalapeno wasn’t only not gross, it’s pure perfection. As it turns out, those three notes make for a beautiful song all together—not too sweet, and not spicier than any drink should be, which is to say not spicy at all. The carbonation is comparably subtle—hardly flat, but not giving that Pop Rocks feeling either. For a harder carbonated THC-infused seltzer, I recommend you wrap your lips around some Wink, which is typically available for around the same five-dollar price point and has its own advantages including nose-popping bubbles, if you’re into that sort of thing.

As for effect … look, I know that people who write for big news outlets and pretend like things that happen to their neighbors in nice grassy communities happen to everyone and therefore can be called trends are suddenly buzzing with worry about potential reactions to THC beverages. From what I understand, the concern stems from a few articles in major publications whose stature I won’t even validate by googling and linking to their ridiculous stories. 

Whatever people are saying between martinis and painkillers, though, is pure horse shit. They already regulated the THC limit for these drinks all the way down to five pathetic milligrams each, and now it’s like the prohibitionists are mad that beverages happen to be a fantastic delivery system. It’s like priests getting mad because you’re enjoying the wine in church too much. Don’t believe the negative hype; this one may be called Endless Coast, but sadly, the high won’t last forever.